How to Properly Communicate What You Want Out of a Relationship


Effective communication in a relationship doesn’t mean just talking about your day or discussing plans for the weekend. It’s about making your needs and wants clear while considering those of your partner.

Recognizing and Accepting Your Desires

Every individual has unique needs and expectations when it comes to relationships. Before discussing these with a partner, it’s vital to acknowledge and accept them yourself. Understand that it’s okay to have certain expectations and boundaries. Recognizing them is the first step to effective communication.

Approach with Honesty

Approaching a conversation with sincerity sets a tone of trust. When you discuss your desires, be genuine. Your partner is more likely to understand and respect your wishes when they sense the authenticity of your words.

Foster a Safe Environment


Choose a good time for the conversation, free from distractions. Ensure both of you are in the right frame of mind. This ensures your partner knows the importance of the conversation, promoting a mutual understanding.

Clear Communication

To foster a successful relationship, it’s essential to express your expectations clearly from the start. Misunderstandings often occur due to a lack of communication, leading to dissatisfaction for both parties. Begin by setting aside time to talk without distractions. Discuss your goals, preferences, and boundaries in an honest manner.

It’s equally important to listen attentively to your partner’s thoughts and concerns. If you’re unsure how to articulate your desires, consider seeking guidance on how to define your relationship.

Prioritize Active Listening

As you communicate, remember that it’s a two-way street. Allow your partner to share their feelings and thoughts. Show empathy, and avoid interrupting or making judgments. This promotes mutual respect and understanding.

Seek Clarification When Needed


If you don’t understand a point your partner is making, ask for clarification. Avoid assuming or guessing their intentions. This avoids potential misunderstandings in the future.

Offer Reassurance

Reiterate your commitment to the relationship and assure your partner of your love and respect. This acts as a cushion and reinforces the bond between the two of you.

Revisit Conversations Regularly

Relationships evolve, and so do individual needs and desires. It’s beneficial to have recurring discussions about what each of you wants, ensuring both are on the same page.

Avoid Making Assumptions

One common pitfall in many relationships is the tendency to make assumptions about what the other person might be thinking or feeling. These assumptions can stem from past relationships, personal insecurities, or misconceptions. It’s essential to break this habit. Instead of assuming, seek clarity. Ask questions and ensure you have a complete understanding of your partner’s perspective.

Value Feedback as a Growth Tool


Feedback, when presented constructively, can be a catalyst for growth in a relationship. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts on your communication style and vice versa. Be open to suggestions on areas that could be improved and be prepared to make necessary adjustments. Seeing feedback as a tool rather than criticism can be transformative.

Understanding Non-verbal Communication

Words are just one avenue of communication. Body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions also convey powerful messages. Becoming attuned to your partner’s non-verbal cues can provide deeper insights into their feelings. For instance, crossed arms might indicate defensiveness, while a soft tone might signal a need for comfort. Recognizing these signals can enhance your communication and understanding of each other.

Commitment to Continuous Improvement

Relationships are dynamic; they grow and change over time. As individuals evolve, so do their needs and modes of communication. In addition, both partners should commit to continuous improvement in their communication. This might involve reading articles, attending workshops, or seeking counseling. The goal is to ensure that as you both change, your means of expressing and understanding each other’s desires keep pace.

The Bottom Line

Efficient communication is indispensable in expressing relationship expectations. Prioritize open dialogue over assumption. By explicitly stating your needs and listening to your partner’s, you set the foundation for a healthier, more satisfying relationship.