More people are afraid of marriage or relationship counseling then they’re of the Bogeyman. Anyone who watched John Wick should know better. One is to be frightened of, and the other one is to be sought. But, there is a legitimate reason why they are afraid of little counseling. They believe that counseling means the end of their relationship. A stranger can’t handle the issues they couldn’t resolve on their own. People forget that counselors are trained professionals and are the only ones who could help once all other resources are used. Of course, they should be the first resource, not the last one, but we can’t argue with the entire world of backward people.
Trust us; whether you’re in a relationship or marriage, slight complications will arise sooner or later. This is normal. What you shouldn’t allow is for them to grow into something bigger. Small rifts can be prevented from becoming significant malfunctions if you know what your next step is. Life isn’t going to be a honeymoon for too long, and when issues come around, you need to know what is the right step to take. In this article, we’re going to direct you towards the five warning signs your relationship needs counseling. See what they are.
People would tell you that it is alright to fight now and then – it’s what couples do. The reasoning behind this is simple. Something would be flashed out on open sight, giving them a chance to be resolved. Issues can’t be solved if you keep pushing them beneath the rug. But, this should only happen now and then and with moderate intensity. If you are frequently at each other’s throats and fighting and arguments are not stopping, something’s wrong.
It would be best if you did not look at this as something that will go away on its own. It won’t! This could be an ideal moment for you to save your relationship by considering seeing a therapist. Good people such as Caroline Bronte are out there to help you.
At first, you might not be able to stop arguing with each other, but it’s the progress that matters. You need to schedule a session with a professional and work on resolving the issues. Whoever i
s in charge of your sessions will have your interests in mind, and with the right guidance, you might be able to continue your life as usual. A counselor could help you even with petty problems such as calling each other names, getting on topics that are not relevant, or simply yelling at each other.
When There’s Stonewalling
Is this term known to you? If not, let’s explain. Stonewalling is when one of the partners in a relationship is not being opened towards the other. This can be recognized when one of the partners refuses to answer direct questions or gives a vague answer that lacks the matter’s essence. You shouldn’t be judgmental towards this, as it is often just a mechanism to avoid admitting vulnerability. What your partner doesn’t know that when he or she shows its vulnerable side, the other one will feel compelled to do the same.
Issues like this one can be resolved through communication. When both partners are opened, a case can be resolved. If the problem has its roots deep, the best route to take would be to discuss everything in front of a mediator. A third person can be of vast help, but it is a step that you need to be fully prepared to commit yourself to it.
Lack of Conversation
The conversation is more than saying good morning and good night and leading short meaningless talk. The silent war, as it is often called, is worse than being in the constant argument. When people start losing their conversations’ essence, they often attribute it to too many obligations at work. The lack of communication also can arise when you have had constant arguments, and now one of you two is tired of talking. Whatever the reason might be, not talking is not something that is allowed inside of a relationship.
When a situation like this happens, it’s never good. Long periods of silence could lead to eventual separation. Talking things out is always the best solution. If you can’t arrange on your own, counseling offers the perfect solution. Talking to professionals before you start talking among yourselves is what you should have at the top of your list if this is your situation.
Too Many Lies
As Iron Maiden would put it in one of their songs – no more lies! Any relationship which is based on healthy foundations shouldn’t have lies involved. Honesty is the glue that holds most relationships together, and yours shouldn’t be any different. Telling the truth to each other is a must, even if sometimes reality is a bitter pill to swallow. Yes, the truth can hurt, and it can make your partner angry, but keeping it to yourself, or worse, lying, isn’t solving any problems.
The safety and security of both partners are guaranteed by always telling the truth. It would be best if you were even careful when speaking the truth, as sometimes people tend to exaggerate things or make them prettier than they are. If you, at any moment, feel that your partner isn’t telling the truth, approach them with your doubts. If they continue, without the will to admit they were wrong, seek professional help.
Talking about the biter pills, this one might be the most bitter of them all. But, not for everyone. All of us know someone who continued their relationship even after their partner was cheating – Chuck and Wendy, we’re looking at you. Yes, we know they’re fictional characters, but the point still stands. Be careful; if your partner was infidel, but you’re always prepared to continue your relationship, it would be best to do it with oversight from a relationship counselor. You don’t want to make any wrong steps in this field, as trying to guide yourself through it on your own could have devastating consequences.