While it seems it was just yesterday that Katy Perry announced to the whole world that she kissed a girl and that she liked it, it was actually more than 12 years ago! Even though the world has become much more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community as a whole since then, there are still some issues surrounding bisexuality. We have come a long way as a society but there is still much to be desired when it comes to both how many view this community, and how much they accept their presence and openness.
Some people judge those who define themselves as bisexuals thinking that it is just a phase they will eventually grow out of. On the other hand, some go as far as thinking that a person identifying as bisexual uses it as an excuse to be sex-crazed and promiscuous with double the number of potential partners. Truth be told, not many bisexuals are like the ones you read about on sites like omgkinky.com. Many choose long-term relationships and monogamy, just like heterosexuals. The only difference is that they are able and willing to do it with both men and women equally since they find both genders equally attractive.
However, dating a bisexual can sometimes become complicated for the other side, especially if it is your first time doing it. We understand that, which is why we decided to share some tips with you to make the relationship easier for both of you. If you would like to find out more about it, all you have to do is keep reading this article carefully. All of your questions and will surely be answered by the end.
Tip #1 Ask Them When They Have Realized That They Are Bi and Whether They Have Ever Acted on Their Feelings
You might be wondering after reading the first tip why is such a thing important. Well, that is because some bisexuals go through what some people refer to as “second adolescence”. We all go through one of course, as it is the time in our life when we learn how to talk to the opposite gender, how to behave with them, and how to express our feelings towards them. However, suppose someone realized his or her attraction towards a particular gender at a later point in life, after spending years, even decades, thinking they are heterosexuals. In that case, they will probably go through the second adolescence when they will have to discover all the things we mentioned, but in regards to the gender, they did not know they were attracted to before, during their original adolescent years in high school and college years.
Knowing these things will help you better understand some situations and behaviors of your partner, and the reasoning behind them. It will help you realize what the things that are happening actually are. Moreover, they will help you understand at what point in discovering their sexuality the other gender became prominent and a legitimate dating option.
Tip #2 Do Not Accept Bisexuality as an Excuse to Cheat
Keep in mind that if your boyfriend or girlfriend comes out as bisexual and wants to explore their sexuality with other people while still being in a relationship with you, you do not have to agree. If you are okay with that, then everything is fine as long as you talk about the boundaries and rules. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, remember that you have the right to feel that way and you should let them know exactly what you think and how you feel.
It has to be a mutual decision. If your partner just starts flirting with other people or even going further without your knowledge or your agreement to it, then that is straight-up just cheating. You absolutely do not have to agree to such terms if you do not feel like it, as a breakup will probably hurt less than being in a relationship where your partner does whatever they like.
Tip #3 If They Identify Themselves as Queer, Express Your Interest in Learning More About It
Bisexuality is an umbrella term, and therefore requires a closer inspection. It can mean so many different things. For example, some bisexuals are strongly attracted to their gender, and only minimally attracted to the same one, or some are attracted sexually to one gender, but only romantically to another, and so on. Various combinations exist, and many bisexuals still have preferences. Rarely is a bisexual equally attracted to both genders, fifty-fifty, but that still exists. The point we are trying to make here is that bisexuality is a term that can mean many things and you cannot know your partner’s case unless you ask.
However, queer is an even broader term. While some people say that it covers different sexual orientations, this is not a good way of explaining it because gay or bisexual people can identify themselves as queer just like straight people. A person can say they are queer if they are, for instance, asexual, have some unorthodox kinks, and things like that. That is why when a person you are dating says they are queer, it can really mean many things, and you should let them explain it to you how it works in their case. Be patient and understanding and make them feel listened to and appreciated. Otherwise, they may not open completely and you will remain in the dark.
Tip #4 Respect Your Partner’s Sexual Orientation and Do Not Try to Hide It
If your partner is not ashamed of their sexual orientation, you should not be ashamed of it either. Furthermore, you should not be ashamed of dating them. Your partner needs to know you accept and respect them fully. That is easily one of the crucial aspects of any good relationship, especially the one where one of the sides is bisexual. Of course, this does not mean that you have to tell everyone you meet that your girlfriend or boyfriend is bisexual, but if that happens to come out during a conversation, you should not try to hide it and claim that they are entirely straight or entirely gay. Your partner will eventually hear about it and wonder why you tried to hide that fact about them. It can lead to trust issues and insecurity, and nobody wants that as a part of their relationship.
Many bisexuals complain about the lack of visibility. It is because they tend to be perceived on only one side of the spectrum, depending on what is the gender of their current partner. Women tend to present their boyfriends as hetero, and men present their girlfriends as hetero. The truth is, they never stop being bisexual, even if they have had a few relationships with people of only one gender in a row. If it is crucial for your partner to be visible and proud of their identity, you should support them in that and tell everyone in your environment exactly that without beating around the bush and trying to hide it.
Tip #5 Ask, Do Not Assume
As we already mentioned above, bisexuality can mean a lot of different things. It basically varies from person to person. This is why, instead of assuming someone’s attraction levels to a certain gender, you should just ask them openly about it. Trust us, they will understand and they will be willing to give you a truthful answer. Ask them whether they feel any sexual attraction at all; maybe, they are interested in one of the genders just romantically. If you want the relationship to last, you need to learn those things about the other person, and to do that, asking them questions is essential. It will show your bisexual partner that you care, that you are willing to make an effort, and that you understand how difficult it may be to come to terms about their sexuality.
The Bottom Line
Contrary to what some people might think, many bisexuals are in a stable and long-term relationship, no matter their own gender or the gender of their partner. However, before they got to that point, they had to go through the dating phase, which, as you can clearly see from this article, can be quite awkward and complicated even in straight relationships, especially if their partner has never dated a bisexual before.
If you are in this type of situation at the moment, we can only hope that our tips shed some light on what to do, how to behave, what to know, and what to ask for when dating a bisexual. Who knows, maybe you will use them and that person will turn out to be the love of your life? You never know, and only time can tell. By then, all you can do is try as hard as you can and respect your partner to the fullest. The rest will come naturally as it does in any other healthy relationship, no matter the sexual orientation of the people involved.