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“… You are Jeff Bezos.”
No, this is not a fanfiction mixing Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis and Amazon. Rather, it is a text-based choose-your-own-adventure game created by Kris Ligman, aptly titled, You are Jeff Bezos. Your goal? “Spend all his f**king money.”
“Well, what’s the trouble? I know how to blow money,” you might say. After all, very few people in the world ever deal with the struggle of “having too much money.” Well, the problem is that you are Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, and currently the world’s richest man, sitting on top of a whopping 156 BILLION (132.8 billion now, supposedly) dollars.
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If you’re having trouble internalizing just how ridiculous that sum is, the game is here to help. After waking up and taking in your situation, you’re given a few options.
If you decide to go to the bathroom (which the game decides takes 9 minutes), this happens:
“In that nine minutes, you, Jeff Bezos, make $540,000. That’s more than nine times an American’s average annual salary and 20 times the median salary of an Amazon employee.”
Not good for your goal. After you finally set your mind on spending all of Jeff Bezos’ money, the game gives you a few options. Among the choices are:
Unfortunately, the game also presents an option you can’t do, which is to pay off all student loan debt, requiring a sickening 1.5 trillion dollars. Sorry.
As you go on your spending spree, more options begin to present themselves. Meanwhile, as your family, coworkers, and the government become (reasonably) suspicious of Jeff Bezos’ sudden shift towards radical socialism, you are forced to go on the run.
You are Jeff Bezos, is a hilarious, eye-opening game that highlights the absurdity of being a billionaire. As you explore the multitude of options and multiple endings, you’ll also find yourself questioning the ethics of simply being a billionaire, and whether they have a responsibility to better our society.
If you have a few minutes, check out the game here.