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As graduation creeps closer and closer, everything on campus seems to be more beautiful than ever—the lecture halls, the dorm rooms, the library. As I sat in a dorm room filled with my friends, I couldn’t help but reflect on the past few years I’ve been so lucky to experience here.
Before coming to college, no one warned me how real the struggle would be. I didn’t fully understand how stressful school would actually be; I was told only of the joys and freedoms that come with being a college student.
But I’m glad no one told me.
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Looking back at it, I definitely wasn’t prepared for the all-nighters, the 8:00am lectures, and the “poor college student problems.” However, I also wasn’t prepared for the amount of fun that I would actually have: the late night talks, the adventures, and the freedom to order food at 12:00am just because we could.
Everything I’ve experienced has molded me to be the person I am today and if I could do anything differently, it would be to worry less—worry less about classes, about my future, about what people thought of me. I wish I could go back and tell my freshman self that each day will hold its own worries, so enjoy the moment you’re in right now. But I guess I’m glad I did worry so much because without that lesson, I probably wouldn’t have actually learned to not worry until way later in my life.
As a graduating senior, I’m actually proud to say that I realized my second semester junior year I didn’t want to pursue International Relations anymore. I’m proud to say I trusted my gut to declare a Journalism minor without knowing why. I’m proud to say I didn’t realize what I wanted to do in the future until my second semester senior year. And I’m proud to say that although I may not be employed, I’m not worried. I’m not worried because I’ve learned that worrying does nothing but waste time. Things will always work out in the way they were meant to work out and although things may seem dim at the moment, never lose hope and never lose who you are in the mix of it all.
For example, my freshman year, I found my identity in my grades. My grades were a direct correlation of my intelligence, therefore my worth. My freshman year I was on academic probation. And this is when I learned the valuable lesson that I carry now and will carry for the rest of my life. I believe that God has a plan for each and every single one of us. But I didn’t want to go by His plan; I wanted to go by mine. But after everything had happened, I realized that I was living my life for me, and not for Him; I was living with the mindset that my worth wasn’t found in Him and how much He loves me, but my grades instead. Once it hit me, I promised to give up my worries to Him and dedicate my life to Him.
I can now say that I will be graduating from Boston University on Dean’s List.
And now although I’m unemployed, I at least know what my passion is and I know that there will be many more lessons to be learned, and worrying is going to prolong that process. I know that everything will work out. Next year, I will be moving to Cincinnati, OH for a year to go on a missions trip (kind of like philanthropy work) through my church. I don’t know what I’m doing once the year is over. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing ten years from now. But all I know is that I’m going to enjoy the ride and put my worries aside.
I’m going to miss my friends, and at times I worry that I’ll never see them again. But then I snap out of it and realize I’m just being dramatic. I know I’ll see them again one day.