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A friend of mine recently came to me to tell me that her boyfriend was body shaming her. Uh what? Your boyfriend, someone who supposedly loves you is criticizing your body? I was shook.
I asked my friend to explain a little bit further if she was comfortable doing so. She told me that she and her boyfriend were talking after ~getting it on~ and he began telling her about this girl her used to hook up with, I saw this as mistake number one. He then told her, his current girlfriend, that this girl had a nicer bum than her, mistake number two. Of course, this is a bit of a condensed version and it did not go down exactly like this, but my friend’s anecdote represents a serious problem: body shaming in the bedroom.
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Because hookup culture is seemingly so prominent on college campuses, I find most of my friends, and even myself, heading to the gym to work on our “hot bods.” We try so hard to please the people that we are hooking up with that we forget the point of exercise, to be healthy. We also forget the importance of being comfortable with your own body. If you love your body, everyone else should too.
I asked a few more of my friends after the incident with my friend’s boyfriend and they said they have had similar encounters. What? Enough people have told me that either them or their partner has said something to them, that I consider this a serious problem. Some people I have talked to have even admitted to criticizing their partner.
“How can I be confident when I am being so disrespected?”
To me, this is mind-boggling. I don’t know how to react to people body-shaming me for having “child-bearing hips” or being “flat chested” when I am fully clothed. I cannot even fathom how awful that would be in an intimate setting.
I think the best way to tackle this problem is to recognize it. If I am ever faced with body shaming in the bedroom, I am going to call my partner out. I love my body and I don’t need anyone to criticize what I look like. I am just going to blast Demi Lovato’s “Confident” because that’s what I am.