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Betches.com recently reported on Monq, asking “exactly what kind of asshole are they trying to market to? Someone who is interested in their health but also interested in smoking something that has an unknown profile of adverse health effects?” That asshole is totally me. I’m all sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, until I’m shelling out $7 for spa water (probably tap water that Whole Foods shoved some watermelons and leaves into) and Kombucha post yoga. Being a walking contradiction is so fun…always keep people guessing! Anyway, check out the video that started it all below:
This video advertisement is all over my Facebook, thanks to cookies or who ever’s tracking my pseudo acid based spirituality internet searching. Facebook is getting creepier by the minute, but at least I did get a good laugh. My personal favorite line being, “you don’t have to know anything about essential oils, we do all that for you.” Very reassuring, especially since I do know about essential oils, and I’m pretty sure you’re not really supposed to be ingesting them let alone smoking them.
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Definitely the second best part of this video is the following line: “Simply pick the way you want to feel, open your Monq, and breath in.” This got me, I’m all about mood altering substances, especially when they claim to be healthy, so I had to dig in. I feel like Monq’s founder and CEO, Dr. Eric Fishman, must’ve been watching Matt Dillon in Drugstore Cowboy iconically say, “Most people don’t know how they’re gonna feel from one moment to the next. But a dope fiend has a pretty good idea. All you gotta do is look at the labels on the little bottles.” Then, I imagine the good doctor was like, lets replace the dope fiends with yogis and health nuts and trade pill bottles for vape pens and we got ourselves a company.
Clearly, Fishman is onto something. Check out this yoga teacher endorse the heck out of Monq. Who cares that Monq isn’t approved by the FDA? Yoga teachers love it and essential oil expert and aromatherapy consultant Robert Tisserand issued a statement endorsement for the product.
How many ways can Monq make you feel? Currently, there are seven blends to pick from: Zen, Vibrant, Sleepy, Active, Healthy, Happy, and Sexy. Each vape costs $20 and is specially formulated to make you feel sum typa way. You can also buy a necklace so you can look like a real tool and wear your Monq loud and proud like this chic.
Is this real? Can “directly inserting aromatherapy into your olfactory system” make you feel more zen than an old fashioned xanax? What is this strange new world? Monq has great reviews, the only complaint I see is people who are afraid of running out. However, after a little digging around the website they actual have an extensive list of precautions, disclaimers, and reported side effects that totally suck. When I looked their “safe” ingredients on a Drug Forum it became all too clear that it probably won’t be long until the FDA catches wind of this.
Marketing is one helluva mind drug. For example, the Vibrant Pen contains twenty-one different natural ingredients. Among these ingredients a few of them don’t seem so safe. Both Dill and Fennel are used in this pen and while they sound super natural, they actually contain Apiole which is a similar compound to amphetamines. Of course you’re feeling vibrant if you’re inhaling some kind of natural Meth.
I’m no scientist or FDA expert, but if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. No wonder the people behind Monq don’t want you poking around doing your own essential oil research on their products. I can’t wait to see what the FDA has to say about this, but I’m also kind of rooting for Monq because their advertising is so cute! I’m such a sucker for anything this hippie-fab. Have you tried Monq? Does it work? Let us know in the comments!
~*~ "looking rough and living strange" ~*~