Robbie Kramer, founder of innerconfidence.com knows the texting game, and knows it well.
He has been teaching guys for years to reach their inherent success with dating, interpersonal skills and seduction to get the girl, get the body, get the job, and ultimately live the dream. Today, he wants to help you too. In this week’s article, Robbie gives us the low-down on what to consider before picking up the phone to shoot her that quick text.
When you text a girl, or when you’re in a conversation with her, what purpose are you trying to achieve? Too often, guys will text because it gives them a rush, an ego boost, or just because it’s enjoyable. They’re missing the bigger picture.
When humans communicate, we do it on multiple levels. There are the actual words we’re saying, which tend to be less important in dating than most people assume. What you need to recognize is how important nonverbal communication is. In person, our body language signals show others how we feel about ourselves, the situation, and whoever we’re talking to. Over text, overlooked nonverbal factors like timing of texts communicate how much we value that interaction.
Any type of communication also conveys our own personality traits; the slang we use, the things we respond to versus the things we ignore, and who initiates communication first are just a few of the nearly limitless things we communicate without even realizing it. What we say and don’t say shows others how socially aware, extroverted, agreeable, and intelligent we are, just to name a few traits.
So why do you talk to girls? When you’re texting, it should be for one of two reasons:
- To build attraction
- To plan the logistics of a date
THAT’S IT. If you are communicating for any other reason, you are revealing yourself as an unconfident guy. Guys who have options with women don’t text them just because they enjoy the attention. They are busy and don’t have time to hold drawn out text conversations. Humans in general love attention, and just because someone is responding to your texts doesn’t mean they’re attracted to you. It’s also likely they just enjoy the attention and have no intention of going on a date with you.
What about in person? This varies more than when you text, but be aware of the main themes that women are biologically wired to respond to:
- To build attraction
- To develop an emotional connection
- To have fun
- To be sexual
- To self-amuse
- To share companionship and experiences
- To express your personality
If what you’re doing doesn’t fall into one of these categories, chances are that your interaction will go nowhere because she’s getting bored.
Often times guys think that they need to be sexual over texts to flirt, this is not the case as explained here.
We communicate to express emotions, NOT to share information. Notice that “to convey information” was not on the list. This doesn’t come naturally to men! Most guys implicitly see all communication as a way of sharing information, because this is naturally a male style of communication. Everything in communication with women is about a shared emotional experience, and when you’re a socially aware, confident guy, it will naturally lead to sex, relationships, and whatever else you desire. THAT’S why you talk to girls: to create a mutually beneficial shared emotional experience.
Head Coach & Founder of Innerconfidence.com
Robbie has over 9 years of experience guiding men to success in the pursuit of women, social/relationship skills, fashion, lifestyle design and achieving an unshakable sense of inner confidence. Check out his blog, ebook and learn more about the “Leverage Program” here!