It’s no secret that girls get their periods…
Nevertheless, it’s easy to feel embarrassed when grabbing a tampon from your bag and bringing it to the bathroom. So here are 5 tips on how to be more stealthy when transporting your feminine products.
1. The Drug Deal Replication
Have a friend place the product in a rolled up brown paper bag and drop it off at a previously communicated bathroom location to do the transfer. Make sure you wear big sunglasses, an oversized trench coat, and a scarf around your head so you are not recognizable. No one will assume the absurdity of you getting a tampon. Instead they will think it is a simple drug deal – a lot less sketchy.
2. The Diversion
In order to divert the attention of fellow onlookers from your feminine needs, create a distraction so dramatic that no one will even notice you bring a tampon to the bathroom. Because everyone usually notices. And everyone usually cares. Because periods are gross and abnormal.
3. The Handshake
Schedule a time for a friend to meet you mid-way to the restroom so that you can secretly do a hand-off in the form of an ordinary handshake. Make sure you get a friend with large hands so that the tampon is completely covered by their fingers and none of it is exposed to the common eye.
4. The Wand
Pretend your tampon is a wand. Channel your inner Hermione and cast a spell on anyone who dares to look at you.
5. The Obvious
Blatantly carry your tampon in your hand to the bathroom because this is 2017 and if a guy can’t handle seeing you carrying a tampon then he’s irrelevant anyway. Make sure you throw a couple at him on your way out for good measure.