Let’s face it, jet lag’s the worst.
So I am currently suffering from that worst of traveling woes: jet lag. I’d honestly sooner lose my passport than wake up at 4:15 in the morning again. But whatever. As human technology advances and we travel thousands of miles in mere hours, we must suffer in return.
Because of this, I’ve formulated a fool-proof series of strategies to get over this affliction and get back to feeling and looking amazing all the time instead of like a sweaty raccoon.
1. Who needs sleep?
You’ll sleep when you’re dead! Make the most out of your time by training your body to never need rest. Try a 5-hour energy, or caffeine IV.
2. Reinvent time zones
Time is a social construct. Time zones were literally made up by humans. So why not make your own? All you have to do is serve breakfast at midnight, and everything else pretty much falls into place.
3. Let the jet lag win
The jet lag wants you to suffer for going on vacation. So why not just go home? Sleep in your own bed. Return to your normal Circadian rhythm.