From the guys questioning “who you know here” to the girls stumbling in heels, which frat party stereotype do you fall under?
With the semester rapidly coming to a close, I find myself reminiscing over not only my nights spent in frat houses, but the people I’ve come across throughout my endeavors. I look back on my Fratland adventures with some very endearing stereotypes. If you fall under any of these categories, you are to thank for some very interesting memories.
1. The Girl Crying in the Bathroom
This girl is usually accompanied by her close friends, mumbling about how Brad or Jared used her for only one night. This is especially prone for girls going through a fresh break up (guilty). We’ve all been there, homegirl. Grab a slice of pizza and go sleep it off.
2. The Mom Friend
With every drunken girl comes the designated caregiver of the night, her best friend. She may be holding your hair back, or wiping the tears from your face, but she never leaves your side. If you’ve ever been the mom friend, I commend you, and if you found yourself a mom friend, hold on to her.
3. The Scheming Frat Guy
You know, the one that grabs you to dance and asks to take you home after 30 seconds? The one that has his button-down fully undone and a Natty Light in his hand? Yeah, don’t be that guy. You may be top tier, but please just leave me alone.
4. The Platform Dancers
These people will typically claim their spot on the platform early on, and continue peaking there for hours on end. I think the platform instills a sense of confidence in frat go-ers, but it is also extremely funny to watch when they accidentally slip off.
5. The Whipped Pledge
We know it’s not by choice that you are an asshole, but knocking it down a couple of notches wouldn’t hurt. There is more to life than the fraternity you’re pledging, trust me. This is not the peak of your existence, and no one actually cares who we know here.
6. The PDA Couple
Yes, I know you both probably met 20 minutes ago and I’m sure this relationship is destined for success, and I do really hope you the best in this love story that a sweaty fraternity basement sparked. However, groping each other in the middle of the dance floor is just unpleasant for both parties here, and leaves bystanders looking at you a little something like this:
Parting ways with Fratland adventures and interactions for break is definitely going to make my life a little more dull, but it’s comforting to know that the sweat, the EDM music, and the stereotypes will be waiting for me to return in January.