If you’re into extended eye contact, beef jerky, and strangers brushing your hair, then this mostly-inclusive VIP Coachella experience could be all yours!
I’ve heard it said nothing’s truly free, but Gordie, a Craigslist poster from West Covina, California, would disagree-that is if you’re a festival-loving woman between the ages of 19 and 25. Instead of making some small time resolutions for the new year, the 56 year-old has decided to have a full on mid-life crisis. Go hard or go home, am I right?!
Anyways, yesterday Gordie posted a super weird “companionship” ad to Craigslist that raised some serious eyebrows. Gordie started off considerately providing some casual background info. Apparently, it’s been a crazy time for this poster-after quitting his job at the Souplantation, Gordie divorced his wife who was able to stand him for the last 11 years. In his own words, “I cashed out my 401K and decided that moving forward, my life is about having fun!”
YOLO man, YOLO. With his newfound freedom Gordie clearly took our advice and jumped at the opportunity to buy a pair of swaggie VIP passes to Coachella. Tickets ordered and RV arranged for, Gordie only had one thing left to do: find a concert companion.
Naturally, the 56 year-old took the creepiest internet approach possible to find his Coachella queen: a Craigslist posting laiden with creepy sexual innuendos. Although the post has been deleted, the internet is forever. Soak in the weirdness below!
Sounds like Gordie is looking for your average Coachella-loving basic bitch, “cute Indian headband”and all. However, the recipient of the extra pass must have some specialized, and especially creepy, characteristics from “harmoniously” manicured hands and feet to staged actions or pseudo-romantic gestures. This girl must also have a thing for strangers brushing her hair and beef jerky with peanut butter sandwiches. She can’t do drugs-except pot- but she “must be ready to party and HAVE FUN!” Clearly, Gordie wants FUN and he wants it NOW!
It’ s probably a community service that Craigslist shut this down, but we’ll always have to wonder if Gordie ever found that special someone to carry once on his shoulder and post at least four Instagrams.