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Don’t sleep on it. It gets hella cold in these Syracuse streets. September is the warm up. Schine parties and the hallways outside sweaty UV parties become the arena for shooting your shot. “What’s your snap ma?” turns into sliding into the DM’s which turns into getting cuffed, if you’re lucky, or, cursed depending on who cuffs you. It seems like everyone is abandoning the hoe lifestyle in favor of something a little more exclusive.
After a few Chipotle & chill dates in November, late nights in the library together, and FaceTime dates over Thanksgiving break, you may have thought you found the one UNTIL…surprise! You’ve been curved! Suddenly, they’ve gone ghost and it’s too late into cuffing SZN to find someone else. You’ll have to wait until next year. Tragic. Or not?
Even though it may seem like you’re missing out on something special, cuffing is overrated. At least, that’s what I like to tell myself to feel better. LOL. Those people who you didn’t even know talked but are suddenly professing their love for each other with social media posts left and right won’t last – or will they? Either way, don’t let the disappointment of not getting cuffed get you in yo feelings. If you didn’t quite make the cuffing season cut, take this advice for how to cope.
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If you’ve been a dub since birth like me this part is easy. If you’re used to being popular with the opposite or same sex depending what you’re into, this may be challenging for you. Chances are you’re friends have all been cuffed and you’re MF TIRED of seeing them swoon over their significant other all day everyday. Their S/O might as well start chipping in on rent and utilities they’re around so much. Chicks before you know, and bros before you know…has basically been abandoned. You’re on your own. Accept it now and get used to being the third wheel.
Or, hear me out. Accept that you’re forever alone and get comfortable with it. Cuffing season is honestly, truly annoying. You spend weeks, even months getting to know some cheap bastard who will break up with you before Valentines day because their refund check suddenly can’t cover a CVS teddy bear and chocolates. Instead of spending time getting to know someone irrelevant, get to know yourself. Think of all that valuable time you would have wasted lusting over some f*ckboy or girl when you could have been loving yourself. Well now you have the chance.
Take yourself on Varsity dates. Make a feel good soundcloud playlist with all your happy songs. Even though you’re single as a pringle, check out Verge’s cuffing season playlist. Netflix & Chill by yourself with a nice glass of wine. Buy all the wine. Become a wine enthusiast. Don’t overdo it though or your family and friends might start staging interventions. Anyways, my point is. Do what makes you happy and do it by yourself. In the end you’re all you’ve got anyways. Might as well rely on yourself to be happy rather than relying on other people.
Ok, even though I just said your friends are traitors for cuffing and not putting you onto one of their S/O’s friends, they could still be your best ally. At the end of the day you chose your friends because you have things in common and for their unwavering support and love. Take advantage of that. Don’t take advantage of them, but appreciate and embrace their friendship throughout this potentially difficult time.
Spend time with your friends. Movie nights, game nights, and wine nights are cheap, fun, and lead to the best most unforgettable memories being made. Great distractions for the emotional turmoil of being single. At the end of the night when their S/O comes over and they retreat to their room, just crawl into bed with them. You dictate every text fight they have anyway so it’s basically like you’re in the relationship too. Snuggles are better when there are more than two people involved. Just kidding. That may not go over well and I don’t want to be responsible for your friend having to have the “boundaries” talk with you.
But seriously, like I said before. Instead of wasting time getting to know someone you won’t be with next year, get to know your friends better. All the cutesy sh*t you would have done with a ting, do that with your friends. You won’t regret spending time and money on your friends because friends are forever, situationships are not.
Most campus apartments and dorms only allow fish and other irrelevant species. F*ck that. Get you a real pet. Puppies are the perfect companion when you’re super lonely. Studies show that warmth and touch and all that stuff you’d get from a bae cure depression and all sorts of sad things. Puppies do the same thing and they stay loyal forever. Chances are your bae would have been a dog behind your back anyway, might as well get the real thing instead.
If dogs aren’t your thing. Cats are cool. I guess. Or you could get one of the other irrelevant animals like snakes or gerbils but they stink. Whatever you decide to get, check out CNYSPCA. Adoption is the best option. Just saying.
Also, be low-key about it, especially if where you live isn’t pet friendly. You can still get away with it just be super vigilant about maintenance people going into your house and keeping up with cleaning after your pet. You should be good.
This might not be the best advice but I’m gonna give it anyway. Distracting yourself from feeling lonely or upset doesn’t acknowledge the true reason you’re feeling a type of way for not getting cuffed. It’s a good short time remedy though.
Do things that make you happy or that can further your goals. A lot of times a S/O is a major distraction, especially if they’re not genuinely supportive of you. Support yourself. Finish that novel you started Freshman year when you still had lofty ambitions and a spark for life. Get those grades poppin’ so you can feel confident when you apply to grad school. Find a cool internship and immerse yourself in it. Don’t lose sight of what you came to college to do, be a boss.
Duh, this is obvious but super important. You may have a lot of negative thoughts about not getting cuffed. What’s wrong with me? Where my IG captions not inviting enough? Was my dutty whine not alluring enough? Am I not enough?
Relax. You’re an awesome person, I’m sure. Unless you voted for Trump, then you deserve to be single and forever alone. Honestly though, if you didn’t get cuffed by who you thought you would, thats a reflection of them not you. Just because someone wasn’t ready for what you had to offer doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to offer. Feel me? You are still worthy and deserving of love. Don’t settle for someone who won’t give you exactly what you deserve just because you’re tired of being alone. Wait it out for the right person and watch how happy you will be. In the meantime, don’t stress over not getting cuffed. Understand that a lot of people who are cuffed are still single if you catch my drift. It’s not that serious.
Oh, and when the weather starts to get warm and the d*ckheads your friends cuffed dump them, don’t tell them “I told you so.” They have to go through this whole cycle over again. Share with them your newfound wisdom on embracing being single.